Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Unrequited Love.

Okay, I thought it was time for a deeper and more familiar topic for everyone.


Every girl has met at least one in her life, it doesn't matter if you're Emma Watson or Megan Fox (note: they have had their fair share of heartbreak too...) or have an insanely attractive personality. No. We have all fallen for some guy who we like so much that when we see him, our knees get weak and our palms start getting clammy. Thoughts race through our minds so quickly we mistake this deep attraction for...uh-oh; LOVE.

First of all, a "crush" is supposedly meant to last about four months and then we usually forget about it and go on with our lives. However, it is said that if this crush lasts more than four months, you have "unmistakably fallen in love". YEAH, RIGHT! Many times we think to ourselves that we must be in love, right? I mean, this guy is just oh-so perfect and when you talk to him you smile like an idiot and have to bite your tongue and hope you didn't blush in front of him and he noticed the whole thing ("OMG I AM THINKING TOO MUCH AND FORGOT WHAT HE JUST SAID TO ME") and all that cheesy romantic stuff. So IT MUST BE LOVE. Well, I'm nothing if not a sucker for romance...but trust me, it might just be an obsession. 

An obsession?! How dare I suggest such a thing?!

I know, I know. I hate the term too but to be honest, it's not so much an obsession with the guy but an obsession with the idea of loving/liking the guy. Have you ever heard the term "In love with love"? That's just it, we convince ourselves that we like or love this guy and every thing about him that we create a false idea of romance. We fall in love with the idea of falling in love. So many girls I know do this (myself included) and it hurts me so badly when they end up getting hurt by some jackass who doesn't even know what he wants for dinner in a few hours let alone who he wants to be with at the moment. There are of course, exceptions. Some men are just gentlemen. Wink wink.
Sadly, in most cases (and this applies to any other topic other than love and romance) if you chase after something, the only thing you'll manage to do will be to drive it further away from you.

Chasing after a guy who doesn't like you the way you like him is like trying to squeeze that impossible blackhead on your nose which for no reason whatsoever, is set in your mind to be the ONE blackhead that you absolutely have to squeeze. You've already made up your mind, the blackhead must lose and you must win. The more you try to get rid of whatever gross stuff is inside, the more it will resist and the nastier the outcome will be. Also, waking up the next day with a blotchy, red and scarred nose is never a pretty experience.

So it goes with guys. The guy is mildly (or in most cases not at all) interested in us, and yet we insist on calling/texting him, mentioning him on Twitter, posting on his timeline, or whatever other social network we've all used before. This only pushes the guy further away from us, and in an attempt to try and regain his attention we repeat the seemingly endless vicious cycle.

One may think, "Well, this world is only getting more modern by the minute. It's about time us girls made the first move...". NO. Like, seriously stop right there. I myself, am totally guilty of committing this terrible crime, and trust me, all the situations that I've had of the likes have not gone well. It may seem fine the first time you do it, but then next time he is thinking of contacting you in any way, he'll just think "Hmm, she texted me last time. I think I'll wait for her to do it again...". And then, you do it a second time and from that moment on it turns into a very ugly habit.

It's plain human nature to want something we can't have, and the more it "runs away from us" the more desirable this object seems. I've found it so common that I believe I like someone, and it turns out I just wanted him to like me because he was the only guy who didn't like me. I don't know if this applies to many other people, but it does seem like a fair explanation for all this "he loves me/he loves me not" dilemma.

To wrap things up, this issue not only presents itself with girls. It also happens to guys. I just don't get how we (again, myself included) are all so willing to fall for people who we know deep inside, don't deserve our affection because of the mere fact they are not giving it back to us. We just keep making up excuses and waiting for some kind of sign to tell us that, we should hold on to that person. When in reality, the love we have for ourselves should come first so then we can love other people fully. If there is something I've learned in my whole life, is that if affection or care is not given freely by another person it is definitely not worth your time.

*kisskiss* - Adrienne.

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